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SEXUAL INFIDELITY: Why Extramarital Affairs Happen And How To Deal with It Through The Power Of Prayer

Naturally, sexual fidelity is highly valued among couples. Marriage, dating, and other forms of intimate relationships work with the premise of exclusivity. However, unfaithfulness has been an issue among a number of partners. Why does this happen? According to multivariate analyses, “values, opportunities, and the marital relationship are associated with sexual infidelity” (Treas & Giesen, 2000).  Hopefully, with the exploration of the following reasons, we can shed more light on this sensitive issue and work towards blissful devotion.

Weak Values 

Is it moral to have an affair if your partner would never find out? 

Unfortunately, fidelity as a principle is not imbibed let alone truly understood by some individuals. They think that if they “can get away with it” it is just ok.  Genuine couple loyalty is very powerful that it should go beyond the committed person’s selfish desires. Liberal beliefs regarding extramarital affairs undermine trust and may eventually cause significant damage to relationships.

Tempting Opportunities

Have you ever been seduced by someone other than your partner?

        One’s values may be tested by distance, prospective partners, and other temptations. For instance, a husband’s resolve may be weakened by distance as well as an attractive secretary nearby. As what others say, “misery loves company”. It would be quite challenging for a very lonely intoxicated person to say “no” to a very persuasive seducer.

Marital Dissatisfaction 

Would it be easier to cheat on your partner if you think you are not getting what you deserve from your relationship?

Logically, partners who do not feel satisfied may seek gratification elsewhere.  The tendency to leave a relationship is obviously higher when the grass seems to be much greener on the other side of the fence.  In addition, it is no secret that some people have affairs just to get back on their partners.  If you are contented with what you have, you would be less likely to be vulnerable to temptations.

Prayer can Strengthen Values against Temptations and Martial Dissatisfactions

It is possible to move men, through God, by prayer alone.

Hudson Taylor

To address the abovementioned reasons of sexual infidelity, we need to employ very potent habits such as prayer.  If we can be moved through prayer, couples who pray for each other as well as together can indeed last longer or better yet, forever. However, only a handful of relationships engage in this vital habit. We just find ourselves too preoccupied to nourish our spiritual development. Some people actually think that they are too cool or too smart to invoke spirituality in their intimate partnerships.  Hopefully, the following facts can inspire and reinforce beatitude among relationships.

Praying Strengthens Marital Values 

Research has shown that praying engenders key elements that encourage responsibility in nurturing affiliations (Fincham, Stanley, & Beach, 2007).  Communication with God promotes perception of accountability, forgiveness, and sensitivity regarding the other person’s needs. For instance, a husband who prays for his wife may feel more compassionate towards her. Also, couples who set aside time to pray together can significantly feel unified as they seek divine benediction.

Church Life Binds 

Understandably, prayer is usually linked with church attendance.  According to a study by Larson and Goltz, you are less likely to ditch your wedding vows if you are involved in church activities. Support groups from religious organizations are beneficial in encouraging couples to work things out. In addition, it would be difficult to sacrifice friendships established in church when faced with the possibility of leaving the marriage.

Prayer Satisfies

A study by Fincham, Stanley, and Beach provides proof that praying for your partner can foster relationship satisfaction (2007). The researchers explained that since prayer likely helps in practicing forgiveness, couples focus on each other’s positive attributes. Since this positivity generates likewise optimistic feelings, satisfaction easily ensues.

By the Couple Clinic, a company of Winnipeg therapists (

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How To Fall Back In Love

Most scientists consider that people are programmed to fall out of love, and you must agree with this point of view. It would probably be impossible to live in a perpetual state of excitement your entire life, so it’s natural that relationships settle down and become less ardent.

After several years of living together and having kids, the spark may disappear because partners are too busy or have grown apart. Finding a new partner is not a solution – besides the negative consequences of diluting a family, you’ll bitterly notice that in a few years you get to the same point with your new spouse. The explanation is simple – all stable relationships evolve the same way.

If the only problem you encounter in your relationship is feeling the spark has gone, there are measures you can take to make things exciting again.

Touch more often

It has been noticed that stable couples don’t touch frequently enough – they probably don’t know what they are missing. Touch helps releasing brain chemicals that create feelings of attachment and affection. Changing your biochemistry through a long hug can make you feel close to each other again.

Get involved

When it comes to love and related misconceptions, the most frequent is the idea that love is something that happens to us, not something that we give or create. But, if you want to feel and receive love, you’ll need to give it first. Turn upside down the mindset that love is something you get and you’ll discover that the more you give, the more you get back.

Be grateful

If you’ve had long-term relationships, you must have surely noticed that sometimes you start focusing on the things that you don’t like about your partner or on what’s missing. If you choose negative perceptions over being thankful about the good things in your life, don’t be surprised if you feel unhappy. Why not make a list of all the things you love about your partner and share them through notes or letters? Love feelings will reignite immediately.

Surprise your partner

Your relationship is dull because all days look the same? Well, the reason why everyday is like the one before is not doing anything special. Think of something that will pleasantly surprise your partner – a romantic dinner, a trip, or a small gift. This will help bring back enthusiasm in your relationship.

Limit technology use

One of the biggest enemies of human relationships is technology. Does the following scenario look familiar to you – every evening each of you is spending time on their smartphone or tablet and you sleep at opposite sides of the bed? It’s no wonder you barely communicate and your love life is in decline. Offer your partner your full attention and set times when you’re not using technology.

Give up bitterness

A long-term relationship cannot survive without forgiveness. Letting resentment take over will kill your relationship and make you feel unhappy with yourself. Remember that no matter what you do, you’ll always get hurt at some moment and mistakes are inevitable.

Nurturing a relationship is similar to taking care of a garden – you water beautiful plants and kill the weed. Why not do the same thing with your love life?

By the Couple Clinic, a company of Winnipeg marriage therapists (

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