Month: June 2015

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014) Movie Review

I have to admit. This movie was pretty good. Surprisingly good. When I watched this movie, I had no idea what to expect. Sure! Secret service, spies and all but not many of the same kind of movies were successful. But Kingsman: The Secret Service was for me a very fun and enjoyable movie to […]

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The Dangers Of Falling In Love Too Fast

What could feel better than falling in love? The butterflies in your stomach, the eager expectation to meet the person that’s making you feel so special! Those early thrills are so precious but are they happening too fast?

Many of us have the tendency to rush things and fall in love over such a short period of time. They say that love at first sight does exist but is this really so? Is the desire to be in love and the rush to get there dangerous? How can it affect your future and your relationship with that person?

Falling in love right from the start can be risky. Naturally, there are blessed exceptions from the rule. Still, you need to ask yourself a couple of important questions before making a major decision about your life.

Signs that You’re Falling in Love Way Too Fast

Analyzing your behavior in those early days can be a particularly challenging task. The chemistry is strong, you’re overwhelmed by the emotions and the last thing that you want to do is step back and take a look at your own behavior.

Still, taking some time to think about what’s going on can save you from a serious heartache in the future.

Are you guilty of falling in love too fast? Here are some of the most common signs that you are:

  • You pay no attention to the red flags: eager to fall in love, you pay attention solely to the things that fit nicely in the image you’re building for the other person. Ignoring the red flags is a common mistake that many people make in the early phases of a new relationship. As the early emotions subside, the blatant mistake becomes obvious.
  • You start making plans about the future too early: it’s been just a couple of weeks and you already see yourself getting married to that particular person and having children together. Slow down! These dreams could potentially come true but you need a longer period of time to make sure that he/she is the one.
  • Getting physical right from the start: the strong chemistry and the fact that you’ve made the relationship physical right from the start could make you mistake lust for love. Sex is a bonding experience and you’ll feel a connection that may not be there yet. This is one of the main reasons why waiting some time before becoming intimate is so vitally important.
  • The other person becomes the center of your world: do you feel that you’re losing yourself in this relationship? Are you putting the other person on top of everything, including your own needs? Slow down, chances are that you’re moving too fast!
  • Feeling that the other person is responsible for your happiness: this is a sign of dependence and a dependence isn’t healthy in a relationship. If you need somebody else to be happy, you’re certainly dealing with a problem and some emotional baggage that will need to be addressed before you fall in love.

Love at First Sight?

But how about love at first sight? We’ve all heard of many couples that couldn’t take their eyes off each other from the moment they met. These couples grew old together, surrounded by their happy children and grandchildren.

Is this a myth? Does love at first sight really exist or is it just a beautiful chimera that we’re eager to believe in?

According to an interesting study, love at first sight is mostly a myth. We tend to create or “alter” romantic memories linked to our partners. The current happy feelings and the love for the other person are projected on past occurrences, making those awkward first encounters far more romantic than they used to be.

Another study performed by University of Chicago researchers suggests that the speed at which we fall in love is controlled by a part of the brain called anterior insula. A volunteer that had suffered from a stroke participated in the experiment. The person was capable of instantly responding with lust when shown the photos of attractive women. When the man was asked whether these women were objects of love, he needed more time to respond due to the anterior insula damage that he suffered.

Thus, the researchers concluded that love and lust were separate processes controlled by different parts of the brain. While the second one is an immediate response, the first one requires more time.

The findings of the study don’t suggest that love at first sight is completely non-existent. Those happy couples do exist. It’s impossible to tell whether it is love at first sight or chemistry that eventually developed into something deeper. One thing is certain – a cautious approach to falling in love is usually better.

The Dangers of Falling in Love Too Fast

Now that we’ve examined signs of falling in love too fast and the manner in which the human brain functions, it’s time to ask one very important question. Why is it so bad to fall in love fast? What risks is this infatuation connected to?

Unfortunately, the cons of starting to experience romantic attachment too soon far outweigh the pros.

  • Too emotionally invested: getting emotionally invested in a relationship too soon is a recipe for disaster. You’re eager to give and to receive love. If you don’t receive the same emotional intensity that you’ve given, however, you can easily end up brokenhearted.
  • Clouded judgment: take your time! Enjoy the first moments and allow the relationship to follow its own course of development. If you are in a hurry, you’ll miss the opportunity to experience every moment and to judge the situation logically.
  • Self-esteem issues: if you’re falling in love very fast without even taking the time to think about the bad habits of the other person, you could be dealing with self-esteem issues. Chances are you believe that you don’t deserve better. Chances are that you don’t want to be lonely. Still, going for someone who isn’t a good match will not make you particularly happy.
  • It can scare the other person off: falling in love right from the start could portray you as a needy and clingy person. This is a red flag and the individual that you’re starting a relationship with may get scared.
  • Emotional rollercoaster: falling in love stimulates the production of dopamine. In a sense, you experience a high from those early interactions with the other person. As the emotion subside, however, you’ll realize the mistake being made and you’ll experience an emotional crash. This rollercoaster could make you pursue new relationships quickly. You’ll be eager to once again experience the emotional high, creating a vicious cycle.

Love is out there and it’s not a race. You don’t have to hurry to the finish line to get your “happily ever after.” Take some time to get to know someone and enjoy the process. Love will happen at its own pace. Slow things down a bit!

Wilma Derksen, C.E.C.

Winnipeg Couples Counselling

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5 Spa Services You Simply Have To Try

There’s nothing like a relaxing day at the spa to make your responsibilities feel miles away. If you’re only soaking in the hot tub, however, you’re missing out on some amazing treatments that can cleanse your body and rejuvenate your spirit. Here are just five spa services you’ll want to experience at least once!

1. Facials

They’re a classic spa treatment for a reason. Facials will cleanse, hydrate and exfoliate your skin far beyond what you usually do in the morning with a dollop of gel. Some salons will even throw in a therapeutic face and neck message while the facial does its work!

2. Microdermabrasion

Microdermabrasion is like exfoliation kicked up a notch. It involves tiny crystals that remove an entire layer of old, dead skin, leaving you fresh-faced and feeling ten years younger once your new skin has a chance to shine. Everyone should try a microdermabrasion treatment at least once, especially if they’re older.

3. Aromatherapy Baths

If you’ve never soaked in a warm bath while the gentle fragrances of lily and lavender wash over your skin, it’s definitely time to try an aromatherapy bath. Not only will it relax every muscle in your body, but the properties of certain scents are known to be healing physically and mentally.

4. Hot Stone Massage

If you thought a deep-tissue massage was great, wait until you feel this! In a hot stone massage, flat, heated rocks are placed along your body’s nerves and pressure points to relieve stress and release toxins. It’s an ancient art in the east, and now westerners have started to reap its benefits too.

5. Plant Peels and Wraps

Plant peels can help you with everything from dark spots to cellulite. If you indulge in places like the Aveda Salon Portland, you can even get manicures or soak your feet while the plants work their magic on your skin!

These are just five spa treatments that will transport you into another world. Sit back, kick up your feet and let all of your worries float away!

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